Finding confidence in being a feminist, while also being a homemaker and mother didn’t come easy to me.

I had the preconceived notion that to be a feminist you had to be paving the way in women’s rights. You had to be breaking the mold, you had to be smashing glass ceilings. You had to be changing the world.

But over the last few years I have grow and found a confidence in my belief that I am a feminist.

 

I wrote this in a notebook a few years ago.

 


 

“Some days as I clean and tidy, I get the feeling of contentment.

The feeling of knowing I was meant to be do this.

Not “clean”, but to care for and provide a home for my family.

To provide my kids with a safe place to fall.

A place to be nourished in body and mind.

To be free to be them and all that that brings, good and bad.

I was meant to be a mother, to make a home and I am feeling the contentment of that more and more.”


I still feel that way.

I think sometimes we now put so much emphasis on telling our girls they can be anything they want to be, that they are powerful and strong (and they are), that we almost downgrade the importance of mothering, on running a home.

Because there is little perceived glamour in that role.

I want to raise children (not just girls) who believe in equal rights, who want to be judged on their work ethic, their smarts rather than their gender.

I want a world where

But we forget to say it is OK to aim to be a good homemaker, to be a wife, a mother.

I think we almost say now that aiming for that is not enough.

Growing up I struggled with directionl. Because the truth was, I wanted to be a wife, a mother and make a home.

That was my biggest dream.

It still is.

Even then it was rare, my friends all had much bigger goals than I.

I now have other goals, other dreams for as my kids grow I need more for myself.

But my biggest achievement, my biggest blessing, my most treasured roll is and always will be as a mother and homemaker.

Giving my children a place they are safe, safe to fail, safe to fall.

A place that cushions them as they grow.

Now I know all parents make a home for their family.

I am not saying if you aimed for more you failed in that area, because you didn’t.

I am saying for me, the role of homemaker was enough, it was satisfying.

For many that isn’t the case and many would like to be but can’t.

I guess my aim here was just to say.

As a feminist I believe women can be anything they want to be.

That we deserve equal respect, opportunities and rights as men.

But I also believe I am no less a feminist for wanting to be a homemaker more than anything else.

I sometimes feel like I need to apologize for not being more.

Like “just” a mother, isn’t enough.

I feel that the women before me paved the way for me to have a choice in what role I wanted.

I didn’t “have” to be a homemaker.

I am grateful to have been given choices.

I want my daughter to feel empowered in her choices.
I want her life to be full of opportunity.

But I also want her to know that one of her options is to be a homemaker, a mother and a wife.

 

Alisa

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