In the process of selling the brand of The Motherhood Project and creating the new brand of my own name, updating the website, transferring files and tossing endless drafts, I have felt my heart contract often with guilt and regret.

See, what I found in the depths of all those files is ‘big ideas’. Some of them I had started, planned, launched… and then they fell into an empty abyss, unloved and uncompleted.  Some of them never made it past the planning stages, but there are evidence of their existence in notes, photos and messages.

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I have no doubt that there a millions of people with billions of unfollowed ‘big ideas’… and I’m sure there are also thousands of people who regret not following their big dreams as well. Sadly its not an exclusive feeling 😉

What saddens me is that I know that the reasons I couldn’t give those ‘big ideas’ the wings they deserved. The first is PND, the biggest stealer of joy, memories, and my big ideas in the past 10 years! And the second is the disease of being busy, trying to ‘prove’ myself, and quite frankly taking on too much and forgetting my priorities.

So there ya go, big admissions from me today! The guilt is from the people I let down in launching ideas I couldn’t follow up, and the guilt I feel from letting down my family by focusing on trying to launch those projects I couldn’t maintain. The regret lies in ideas that could have been awesome, and for not seeing my needs earlier.

I had to throw this out there, because when I go back through the website and see these uncompleted ideas, my heart hurts a little. This is my permission to let it go – after all, know better, do better.

Reality bites, it hurts, and the wise one will learn from it! Let’s see, shall we!

 

Ashlee

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